Fear... a snippet from my first book

Fear

For as long as I can remember

fear was closer to me emotionally

than any family member

My fear....unlike them

was always there

Its presence I could always feel within

its darkness would come from behind

and take me in.

Without my sight,

in its darkness I was blind.

My fear was clearly for so many years

the ruler of my life.

It had the power to control me

and eat me alive.

It held me back from living my life.

In this time alone...i knew

my relationship with fear

I had to get clear.

I had to befriend my fear.

Its seeds were planted within me somewhere.

Its roots I had to discover.

For many days and nights I looked at my fear

and cried.

I got to know it .

I let it whisper in my ear

It had things to say

I wanted to hear.

My fear ....it did not come from nowhere.

It had been with me since the

first emotional fracture.

My fear's intention was to protect and warn me

of what was up ahead that would hurt me.

In my discovery I felt compassion

for this mechanism

My fear had good intentions.

I now had a very new and unexpected understanding

My fear was not there to paralyze me.

My fear was my ally.

If used correctly it could motivate me

instead of engulf me.

My fear had new meaning.

I could let my fear

signal me when it was time

to face something.

I knew fear would always be there

to invade my psyche

But now I knew I could use it

to help me.

For behavior to change

it must first be understood by insight...

I think I am on my way.